Lost but never forgotten... the passing of a friend.

Dwight Adamson - a friend for life

Don't know how long obits stay on record, but hope to have this for as long as possible.  Dwight was a pleasure to know.  I'm so glad I got to spend a year with him before he passed.  I never realized how difficult dementia was until I started working with Dwight, and my heart always went out to him as well as to his wife, and their family.  Dwight passed before Alzheimer claimed HIM, he was always in control of his faculties until the very end and he was always a true gentleman.  He would always hold the door for me before leaving or entering, and when we would go for our walks he always made sure that I was on the inside, never out where traffic swept past.  He always left the room to blow his nose, always excused himself, and was always a sweetheart to me, even when he was frustrated.  We had our own conversations, and even though he couldn't always communicate, we always managed to enjoy each other's company.
It was only a year that i know him, but he changed me in a lot of ways, and I'm glad he's at peace.  I'll never look at that Clarkston bridge the same way again, and even though I may not cross it very often, or at all now that we've moved, if ever I cross it again, I will always think of him!

Beach, Breakdown, BIRTHDAY girl!!!

Today... was... WOWWWW.  First of all... I slept from 3:30am-5:30am this morning and actually woke up awake?! Don't know how it was possible, but I also managed to do my squats.  And as I sit nearly 13 hours later...today has been such a jam packed day, I don't even know where to start.  First, the drive to Rosamond where Alex lives was pretty easy, and seemed to go fast, and we made it to Alex's house a little after 10:30am.  it was nice to see his neighborhood and it looks like such a good place to grow up!  I think he really likes it.  The drive to LA was good at first, as the kids basked in their reuniting glow, but that soon changed to fighting over every little thing and arguing back and forth with me and Brian.  I don't know where it all went wrong.  We made it to Santa Monica a little after noon and we were beach bunnies until after 2.  The ocean was AMAZING... we had SO MUCH FUN! The kids loved splashing in the Ocean and we took turns burying each other with sand.  OMG it was like a sand massage, it felt soooooooooo good!! I almost fell asleep LOL.  Alex and I really got deep into the ocean, and it was like a gigantic bubble bath with all of the bubbly waves.  I'll never understand why, but the ocean is so serene and beautiful, and it never ceases to amaze me.  After we left, with sand in all the wrong places, we left for the hotel in Anaheim, and as we crawled at a snails pace on the freeway, Brian noticed that his car was revving, and nothing was happening, the gears weren't shifting, and his car was going NOWHERE fast, and we were left to pull over on the side of the busiest freeway in the US, and let me tell you, it was SCAAARRRYYY!!! LA freeways are NUTS.... Anyways...here we sit, and here we panic...jk...Brian called the tow truck and 20 minutes later we were driving to the Honda shop to have the clutch replaced...only 1700$ later! of course Bob was all over it and wanted to pay for it, but Brian insists on paying him back.  Brian covered the tow and the rental which was almost 800 bucks, so needless to say, IT HAPPENED...what always happens...something ALWAYS happens to test our faculties.  I'm impressed with Brian...he kept his calm and it never seemed to get to him too much.  We were able to rent a badass Dodge truck for a few days, and when we FINALLY arrived at the Qualtiy Inn Hotel in Anaheim (the kids never being the wiser to all the Disney posters everywhere, at 6pm, we were all POOPED.  There was many more dramatic events...mostly arguments with Alex and all of us...and I don't really know what to make of it, but I think he just pushes buttons to push buttons...and it exhausted me so much, that I contemplated turning around and driving his butt back to Rosamond.  I think a lot of it is his jealousy and having to go from one on one time to sharing with his sister, and that's hard to separate, but things have finally calmed down, we're EXHAUSTED, beyond it, and so damn excited for tomorrow we can hardly stand it.  We are going to get some good sleep, get up and shower, and have breakfast at the hotel, and finally let the cat out of the bag when we wake up in the morning...

I'm ready for the secret to be unveiled!! and I CANT FRIGGIN WAIT.
God, I love you, please let tomorrow be a good day for Sarah & Alex...we all deserve a break...and may her 5th birthday be perfect, just like her.

Fun filled Summer

Today was a fun filled day.  Met up with Amber and her two kids at a REALLY COOL splash pad park.  These parks here are way cool, almost like a damn water park.  We were out there for almost 3 hours.  I now have a nice sized sunburn, but it was worth it.  Sarah and I came home and went swimming after that, and then took a nice long bath before we headed off to TGIF's for some grub.  We saw Monsters University in the big bad comfy seats and it was awesome!! Really cute movie.  I laughed a lot.  I now have a headache thanks to the 3D glasses, but it was a fun-filled day.  Busy busy day tomorrow... tomorrow we pack and get ready for our trip on Monday.  tonight, I need to work on our itinerary and get it hammered down so we have a plan...

Well that's it for now, I'll see ya tomorrow!

Reality setting in... and it's scary!

I realize more and more every day living here what a small town girl I am.  Going out at night just to walmart seems like an adventure, and that never happened in C-town... Going to walmart at 10pm guaranteed a slow night lol...here, it's just a nuthouse even to go shopping...and going late... you'd THINK would cause less people, and in fact there are more people out late at night.  So maybe i'll do my shopping at 5am? LOL

It felt good to do well at the interview, and even though I missed asking some key questions (benefits and salary?!?!) I was just at a loss for how fast it all went.  But you were right mom, getting the feelers out there was the main reason for this interview, and I'm definitely ready to get back on the horse.  When i hear from her I will ask her those questions, and if there are no benefits, I'll probably go ahead and keep applying elsewhere, unless the pay is good because Brian and I have private health insurance, and if I make good enough money, I can pay for that on my own.

Thanks for all your support.  You REALLY helped!  I definitely miss my clients, but I realize how much of an impact they left and I'm hoping to meet some more amazing people, and after what I've gone through, there's no way I'm judging anyone!!

It was good to talk to you on cam tonight! Sarah sure enjoyed it!  I'm so friggin' excited for Monday I can barely stand it.  I want this weekend to COAST by so we can leave.  I'm excited to see Alex, and so some fun stuff, because I know that I'm hitting it hard when we come back... so viva disneyland baby!

Hope you had a good day off!! I shall see you tomorrow!!

say hi to everyone who knows me!!

HASTA!

This won't be a big post, but I feel as if I should at least write SOMETHING. So there.
SOMETHING!

haha jk...

nervous for tomorrow, but excited, my interview is at 11:30, my portfolio is finished and I'll be ready to give it my best!  I'm ready for it to be OVER though, always get nervous for interviews, and look forward to the relief when its over.
Win or lose, I'll be happy that I got an interview, and I'll see where it takes me.

Went to Disney store today at Meadows Mall over in Paradise.  Its wayyyyyy over town where my interview is..about 30 minutes from home... Sarah went CRRRRRRRRAZY over the Disney store, and we were able to sneakily buy both Sarah and Alex a mickey/minnie shirt as well as a stuffed animal that we will unveil on the trip Tuesday.  Only 3 more days until we leave and I CAN'T FRIGGIN WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope it all works out, but for now, ta ta!

Oh yes, must include Sarah and Mommy's make-up date tonight...totally impromptu, but totally AWESOME! We had a lot of fun!!

O...m...g... almost too tired to blog today!

It seems like today was the longest day in history, and I haven't even gotten around to my shows yet!! EEEK!!
That's what I get for sleeping in :/  The wake up call was about the job, and that was cool.  I'm definitely excited, but I won't take the first job either, I have the time to really feel it out and make sure it's what I want.  Doesn't mean I won't do my absolute best at the interview, and hopefully they'll work with me on some training - we shall see.  I have to print out resume/references tomorrow and make my little portfolio.  Try to go find this place so I know where it be, and then Friday I'll go and do my best, and let whatever outcome, happen.  Not worried too much about this one.

My hands are really tired...I cut up a LOT of fruit..Made a fruit salad, a fruit bowl, cut up celery for Sarah, and then chucked corn for hot dogs and corn on the cob..I am SPENT!!  Worked out with Brian for a bit at the gym, swam for almost 2 hours, and came home and had a delicious dinner, ate a LOT, and did my crunches for the day.

I don't think I'll be up until 2 tomorrow! LOL

Some good news, we'll be saving some money on hotels...My friend Sarah Dawes found out about our trip and invited us to stay at her house in Fontana, CA so we will be saving a bunch on that.  I haven't seen this girl since Jr. High, but we're FB friends and we've been pretty close.  It was such a thoughtful suggestion.  She's really busy or she would go with, but we're gonna do a BBQ Monday night after the beach so, yeah, very cool.
Trying to think up a neat idea for how to surprise the kids for this trip... Any ideas?!

Okay, it's sleepy sleep time.

LOVE and MISS you!! and don't worry, it won't be long until we're together, loungin' out by the pool sippin my new favorite Mocato.

XOXOXO
night

Boredom...

Good to know Alex misses me... Waiting for his call, and I've called Chris going on 4 times now.  He wrote to you, he sent you a picture.  Nothing yet here.  I know I'll see him Monday, but that doesn't make it any easier :( Summers SUCK!!!

Had fun with Sarah today, even though it was pretty boring.  We played outside and she's slowly learning how to do the monkey bars.

Lots of grocery shopping to do tomorrow and then slowly starting to come up with an itinerary for Sarah's birthday, packing over the weekend, and then we're off... I really hope so anyway... Right now, I'm feeling pretty stuck, and wondering wtf to do with my life, and that's a pretty shitty feeling.  Trying to remember that it's Summer and I'll have time to get my stuff together, and when school rolls around, I'll be wishing it was Summer again.

Right now - it SUCKS!!

Oh well, moving on....

Mom,

I write this blog for you, and for you alone.

I can't imagine what it must be like to not have your parents in your life.  You went through something that no child should EVER have to go through.  Not many people lose their mother and father so soon after, and the way grandma went, was something that nobody should have to describe to anyone.  It's unfathomable to me that you are able to hold your head up every morning and keep going.  But you DO.  So many others would have thrown in the towel after what happened.  You could have quit.  When you were homeless and had to turn to someone you didn't want to, you could have held up your hands, and gone out the same way grandma did.  But you didn't.  You managed to get out of that situation and get into a beautiful apartment, and you did it all on your own.  You picked yourself up from utter despair, and made a life for yourself.  You got your job back, you've held that job, and not only do you have more than 3 clients, they are all attached to you, and they all appreciate you for the job you do.  Caregiving isn't a job for just anyone, in fact, I think it takes the most special of people to truly take care of others.  I never did the job justice, but I'm thankful to you every day that you were able to help me get that job, and it changed my life, in such a positive way.

You get up every day, and do your job, and you come home and keep your house clean, and take care of your dog, and you find things to do.  You shouldn't disregard that life.  You should think about where you were just 2 years ago, and think of how this could have turned out.

I know we are just "existing" at times.  I find myself twiddling my thumbs sometimes...thinking to myself, "What now?" but you said so yourself, sometimes we just "exist" and we go with the motions of every day.  Let me ask you... WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?  What's wrong with getting up, making breakfast, going to work, doing the dishes, watching our favorite tv shows, reading our favorite book? what's wrong with that?  once in awhile we'll go see a movie, or go to the pool, or maybe plan a vacation to the ocean, or to Vegas, or somewhere fun. What's wrong with living?  I know it's a lot easier said than done, and so many times I want to find my niche.  I don't have the talents that you do either.  I can't draw the way you can, or make a webpage like you can, or design a graphic that is out of this world.  I can't sew, or quilt, or knit the way you can.  Those things aren't little.  I remember the days of Now and Then, and those days, you were MAKING your christmas gifts.  You made dolls out of those air freshner things...do you remember those? Omg I LOVED those...or the bunnies that you made... the dolls with the curly hair stood out to me, but those air freshner dolls will always stand out the most.   You were (and are) the most creative person I know, and you went to school and got your degree, and I wish you gave yourself more credit for that.

Not just anyone can be a Grandma either.  Sure, you can biologically be a grandma, or grandpa, but it takes a special person to know the tricks of the trade.  Before Sarah came around, you WERE close to Alex (no matter what grandma thought), and I have lots of videos to prove it.  You had a way with him from the start, and even before he was born, you were taking care of him through me, and I was with you for the beginning of my pregnancy, and even after that, you supported me every step of the way.  And when he was born, you were my biggest cheerleader, and when we visited, he was your focus, and you had a special bond with him that grandma couldn't touch.  Sure, she tried, but he always had a special place in his heart for grandma cullough.  Sarah came along, and you guys bonded like only a grandma/granddaughter can...and even though you love Alex & Sarah exactly the same, there is a special bond between you and Sarah, and I cherish that.  You and her do the imaginative play that grandma and Alex did...that I just can't imitate.  But I try when you aren't here.  I'm trying to do the things that you do...but it's hard.  Creativity is not my strong suit, nor is cooking, but you and grandma taught me things, sometimes subconsciously, that have really helped me to become quite a domesticated house-wife and mother.  THANK YOU!!

I wish you were here, every minute of every day.  I don't think there's ANYTHING wrong with being close to your mother.  What the hell is wrong with it? Nothing.  Of course I want to experience my own things...things that I can tell you about, and have you be happy for me, and maybe I want to brag sometimes, but only because I feel like I'm becoming a woman (at 30, that sounds pathetic), but if I'm a woman, and I'm halfway decent, it's because of you.

Alex & Sarah will NEVER forget you, and they are counting the days until they see you again.  You keep putting yourself down because you don't have the $ to come every 6 months, or you feel like you aren't doing enough, and you have to stop it -- NOW...these kids cherish you, and they aren't going to hate you for anything, so when the timing is right, and you are here, they are just going to be happy, and so will I.

I don't expect you to work miracles, and be here tomorrow, but WHATEVER you decide to do, no matter where you go, I will be here with open arms for whatever that decision is.

We won't grow apart, and if I have to get a job just to save money so you can come visit, or so we can go places when you move here, I'll do that.  I love my little family here, but I'm nowhere without the support from you.  I'll need you.   It's inevitable.  I don't make it very long in life without screwing up. So await my call, it will come.

I hope you know how much you are loved, by everyone here in this house.  I'm doing the best I can... It isn't easy.  I'm in limbo.  I HATE not having a job, or a purpose, and even though my job wasn't glamorous...I was needed...and I miss that.  So right now I'm delving into the house wife thing.  Decorating, cooking, cleaning, and just trying to keep motivated to do these stupid squats every day (on top of that adding on a crunch challenge - oy vay!) and until I figure out what's next for me, I'm just going to be happy here, being me.

Smile!! and don't forget to laugh...find things that make YOU happy, and know that I'll support you no matter what... You're kinda stuck with me.

FOREVER

Fathers Day 2013

What a wonderful Fathers Day so far! From what I can tell.  Daddy was "awoken" (He was a good sport..."pretending" to go back to bed, but he actually fell asleep! HA!  We woke him up with Sarah's homemade breakfast-in-bed! HE LOVED IT!! Complete with a menu and a picture!! It made his day :)

I took a nap... He played with Sarah.  I'm showered, squatted, and we are off to celebrate Fathers Day.  We're headed to Wolfgang Puck for some good ol' American Cuisine.  We are gonna try to get a glimpse of the happenins over at Planet Hollywood to see if we can catch a glimpse of any of the pageant girls!  Either way, we are coming back tonight to watch the show at 9! Love the pageant!!!!

Of course today is Fathers day...so I will attempt to call dad...if I can find his #.  I miss gramps a lot today, and I know this is one of the hardest days of the year for you, but man when I look back and think of him, I have so many fond memories and all I can do is smile.  That's exactly how I want to be remembered.  All of my memories are good...and the bad ones, easily forgotten.  He's DEFINITELY fishing today!!

Happy Fathers Day to everyone that deserves it!!

All my love

I'm really out of shape :{

Quick blog tonight... I feel like J - E - L - L - O! Those squats really did me in.  Not much to report tonight.  Very lazy day.  I did log my food today and did a pretty good job.  I worked out a bit and went swimming and did some laps and lounged the hottub, then came back and lounged in the bathttub. Overall, I'm a puddle of mush, but I could REALLY get used to this :)
called little man but no answer, so left a message....

Looks like we have a play date tomorrow for Sarah so I'm really excited.  One of Brian's old friends and SMALL WORLD his wife just happens to be someone I went to Jr. high with.  I'm just glad Sarah will make some new friends... I'm open to anything...wasn't really friends w/ this girl, but I always believe people change and grow up - so who knows.  She doesn't remember me, go figure!! ;)

Anyways, glad you had a good day.  Looks like you enjoyed your movie and I was glad to hear you went swimming!!

It will definitely be a long summer...but will give me some time to soul search...and decide what I want to do.

We have some huge plans for Sarah's b-day... I'll call and let you in on them.  I wish you could be here with us :(  I feel bad, Sarah hasn't really had any big celebrations ..last year was fun but went too quick... We want to go all out for year 5.  You can probably guess what it is...and I wish you could be here...but I know when you move here for good we'll go once every few years.  It sucks being here without you and Josh and my friends...Brian starts back to work on Monday and I'll be on my own...so I definitely need to get myself a part-time job and find a hobby too... I love it here, but anything can get old after awhile, and I'm not getting any younger.

Anyway - That's it for now.  Hope you had a good day off momma.  Buenos noches!!
Hasta pronto!!!!!!!!!!

Officially a Nevada Resident...and prepared to RUN!!!

HOLY CRAPPOLA!  I'm a Nevada Resident!! New drivers license is on its way!!

I've been dreading going to the DMV for over a week now... I kept having flashbacks to the nightmare of the Arizona debacle.  I kept expecting to wait in line for 5 hours...sweat and exhaustion oozing from my pours, and when my number finally arrives - and I step up to the counter... I am CRUSHED when she says "this won't work - you need ... blah blah blah... " So I was a wee bit afraid.  Alas, it was time, and we arrived a little after 1pm.  I was number G476...Yep, that number will stay with me awhile, and they were on something like G350 or something...Needless to say, we had a wait ahead of us...numbers went pretty quickly, and this DMV was like nothing I'd ever seen - hundreds of people waiting, over 25 DMV reps, and it seemed to go rather quickly.  There was a lull for awhile because they actually had C's and H's and I's, and we were there a little over 2 hours.  OF COURSE we were sitting the entire building length away from our counter, but we made it, and as she went over my documents, and I sat nervously waiting, I was more than relieved when everything checked out fine... I took my glamorous photo, and 22$'s later, it was over!

PHEW!! 

but then reality kinda set in - and I freaked out... Thinking about what I was going to do... It really made it official.  It scares me... A LOT.  Brian and I discussed a lot about what I want to do.  He's so supportive of whatever I decide to do.  I feel a sense of beginning...like our lives are finally starting...and I just wish this magical voice would appear in my ear...whispering my goals and dreams and I would know instantly what I want to do.  Unfortunately, there's no whispering wisdom coming from anywhere.   I know I want to write...that will always be my passion...but that doesn't pay the bills currently, and they continue to pile up.  So - I will keep applying for jobs, anything that looks interesting - and I won't take the first thing that comes, I will look for something that I want, and maybe go back to school.  I've greatly considered transcription or stenography, but I'm just going to keep my eyes and ears open.

In the meantime though... We have to find a nanny for Sarah, get her into a good daycare, and make her some friends.  She's pretty lonely.  She had a cute conversation with a little girl tonight, who introduced herself, and it was really sweet.  Sarah is such a friendly, love-able little girl, and I can't wait for her to start Kindergarten.  We're also going to get her started with Gymnastic soon so she can socialize that way.  I've looked into some mommy and me groups as well...just not sure quite yet.  I know she'll make friends soon :)

After the DMV we went to Chuck E Cheese and had some fun! and boy what a difference going in the afternoon makes, hardly anyone there, but the staff was really friendly and Sarah saw chuck e twice!! We didn't do very well on tickets but she managed to walk away with a necklace, a slinky, and some CANDY! woooohooooo!!  We came home after that and relaxed and then when it cooled off we enjoyed the strip.  We took the tram from Treasure Island to the Mirage and watched the Volcano.  Something Sarah had never seen before because she fell asleep the last time...but was sure not to miss it!

And as you can see, she had a BLAST!!

It was a beautiful night.  

We enjoyed ourselves.   We thought about going to the M&M factory but the strip was just too crowded.  So we decided on going to Denny's for a late night dinner and we shared a Banana Split as well.  My tummy regrets it now, but it was fun...the waiter there was a sweetheart and took great care of us.  but after tonight, we are sooooooooo done eating out, and we're planning some meals at home!!

No plans tomorrow...lots of rest and swimming!  

Now - the "RUN" part.   Chantelle contacted me awhile back about joining on the Color me Rad 5k race in September over in Billings.  I wasn't sure about going, but after consideration decided it would be a great getaway for myself ... I messaged you about it and I really hope you consider going.  Here's the plan...I fly into Billings, MT on the 20th (Friday) and since you work 12-4 you could drive over to Chan's Inn where she works and you guys can take 1 car to pick me up in Billings (2 hours away), we stay the night in Billings (Chan wants to pay for the room, but I figure we can both pitch in for gas), and then the 21st is the race (Registration is 35 now, 40 after Friday) and then after the race we head to the hot springs for some relaxation, then head back to where Chan works and we stay the night Saturday and Sunday and go home Monday.  You can go back anytime you want, but Chan is off Monday/Tuesday and would be giving me a ride to the airport.

I know that's a long drive, but I figure it's a lot better than paying for a plane ticket.  I know that doesn't cure your Alex & Sarah fix, but I figured if we saved up you'd be here for GOOD anyway, or at least for a visit very soon.  The getaway sounded nice, and I figured it'd be nice for some mom/daughter time away.  Let me know your thoughts.   I wanted something motivating and I'm going to train up to this date and try to run the entire thing.

Let me know your thoughts.  We'd have a LOT of fun.  Randy might have to ask for some time off as you'd have the car, but you can always take a bus if you have to... I hope you consider it.

Okay - that's it for now.  I know you'll be here soon, forever, and if I have to get a job and put my entire paycheck away to make sure you get here.... I'll do it.  I can put in apps at any job you want, and go look at apartments for you.  Just say the word and I'm there.  YOU WILL BE HERE!!!

Love you, and thanks for keeping up with the blogs.  Sorry I've been distant... I've been asleep. And that's no joke.  But I'm trying to kick the habit... Just in a funk ya know?

Hope your first day with your new client goes really well tomorrow.

LOVE AND MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dirty feet and Cactus fun!

Our first plants!! On the left, Sarah picked out this nice bouquet of cactus blossoms and on the right is my choice - The little guy sits on our kitchen table and the biggun' is outside our door.  We feel very DESERT now!!  It was fun :)   I also experienced Trader Jo's for the first time - and what a TRIP was that.  I've never seen so much organic, vegan, vegetarian, no-fat, WEIRD, food in my life.  I picked up quite a few things and so far I'm VERY impressed.  Lovin' the inner peas potato chips that taste like little bits of heaven (and half the fat) and Sarah is diggin' the Strawberry Yogurt cereal.  I also tried a yummy low fat cereal bar and I'm HOOKED!  

I ordered myself an empty cook book to fill in my favorite recipes from breakfast to entrees to deserts and I'm really excited to try some recipes out, and keep them saved for the future.  We haven't been eating well lately, but that's because we're really just enjoying the Las Vegas experience.  but we're starting to feel full, and we're over buffets, and fast dining and ready for some home cooked meals.  Sarah Hoffmann is making me an awesome menu for a week because she's been so awesome lately with keeping track of what she eats, and she's been working out and lost a TON of weight.   I don't have the balls to work out at the gym we have right now but I'm going to start with diet first and then add in some swimming and work my way up to the gym when I get the nerve.

I'm ready to experience all that this big city has to offer and I'm tired of the same ol' thang.  I really just want to feel good about myself and I know that isn't an overnight process. 

#1.  NO POP (Mom, you've done great with this, and I'm truly inspired by how amazing you've done... I know I can do it, if I just try.)

I've been drinking a LOT more water and every time we step foot out of the house I have one or more bottles of water with us.

#2. BALANCED MEALS 

I've been doing a lot of sleeping in lately, and eating when I feel hungry, but what I need to do is wake up (8-10am) and have some eggs w/ some yogurt so I can get some energy, then try a cereal bar or some chips or crackers for a snack, a healthy lunch, a small snack and then dinner.  

#3. ACTIVITY 

I've felt the insomnia/lazy bug lately and I need to keep active.  Whether that be working around the house, taking walks, swimming, (*gasp going to the gym*), or whatever, I just need to stay ACTIVE

#4. KEEP A FOOD LOG

I have a good food log app, I just need to friggin' use it. and I need to COUNT CALORIES and be careful with portion control.

All of this can be done, I just need to stay motivated to do it.  I've felt a little down.  I miss Alex, and my mom (YOU) and I miss normalcy.  I'm trying to get my life together and there are so many things to do right now...and I know if I focus on being healthy, and FINALLY finding my true passion, I will be happy in the long run.

Just want you to know, I'm so very proud of  you...and you inspire me every day to keep going and to go strong!!!

I NEED TO DO IT!! I MUST!!!

Nothing new ...

Not much to blog but find it funny that it was only 100 today..and somehow...that made a huge difference. very windy today. Sarah had fun @ the play area and we are definitely ready to get her into daycare...she misses having friends and we don't want her spending every day and every minute with us as much as we love her...she needs friends...so we'll be looking into daycare and also a nanny so when we want to go out we have someone we can trust.
that's it for now.
miss ya mom

Bliss

Swimming twice.... This i can live with.
Maybe I was a fish in a former life?!

Alex's goodbye for the summer dinner

First free concert (sweaty crazy fun) & learning spanish!

WHAT A NIGHT!!!!!!!!!

Fremont Street @ 8pm and STILL 110 degrees.  Free concert night.  Band: HINDER
Experience: NUUUUUUUUUUUTS!!!!
They closed off a section for the concert and it wasn't so bad to start with, but as the concert came closer and people started gathering - um...let's just say...claustrophobia's worst nightmare!!  Sarah was such a trooper at first.  She was on daddy's shoulder rocking out, but it just got too crowded and too loud and so daddy took her to the ice cream shop while I listened for awhile.  Unfortunately, there were so many damn people trying to get out they kept bumping into people (me included) and it just wasn't fun anymore.  I did get to hear my favorite song "Better Than Me" and it was cool to know that a famous band was playing in Vegas, and it was FREEEEEE!

Let me tell you, we enjoy Fremont for the lights and the atmosphere and the characters ... well, let me tell you, we saw a pirate wench who's boobs were TRIPE Z and all she had to cover them were some very thin pasties! O-O WOAH!!!!!!!!!! Oh but don't let me forget Mrs. Firefighter 2013.  She was even bigger, and yeah - my eyes!! my eyes!!!
Sarah, exact quote, "I want a picture with pirate boobie girl!!"
Oh god, what have we exposed this child toooooo! LOL  She's pretty awesome tho.

Before that was of course, THE PIRATE SHOW, her favorite! Took some pretty insane pictures (ON FB) and as usual, it never ceases to amaze me how beautiful everything is.

We got in about 11:30 but not before stopping in for some 7 layer burritos! OMFGSOOOGOOOD!!!

Saying goodbye to Alex was the toughest part of my day, but when he called and they had made it safe, i was instantly relieved, and he LOVES his new place, says it's "HUUUUUUUGE" and can't wait to share it with me.  Chris is taking him to work and giving him a tour and he sounds really excited.  Overall, I'm staying positive that this move was the best thing for all of us, and I'm keeping positive....because every day is an adventure, and every day is different, so I'm trying to take it all in.

Tomorrow we are taking it easy...a  typical lazy Sunday...because on Monday I have to go to the DMV (if my paycheck is here) and I am absolutely DREADING it...turning everything over to Nevada (If i'm lucky enough to get it all done in one trip) will really make it REALITY... So I'm not rushing ...
But until then, house cleaning (already!!) and the usual chores.   Probably going swimming later on...

I MISS YOU MOM!! Loved your blog...and I loved your joke too :) keep up the bloggin'.  I'm loving it.
Tell miss B I say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! and "SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE"

all my love momma
xox

AL

What a boring day... But ya know what, It's 115 degrees outside last I checked, and I don't feel like dying from heat stroke. lol.
Took the kids to Hobby Lobby...and they LOVED it.. Sarah was in pink heaven!! She has set her sites on a few items for her room...so I will be busy this summer decorating.  Alex was busy buying items for his dad and Carrie who drive in from Rosamond, CA tomorrow.  I'm happy he's excited! :) i'll miss the crap out of him, but I know this is just what he needs, but yes....the idea of missing him every summer is hard to think about...he'll be able to spend some time with us for Sarah's birthday on the 25th so I'll be looking very forward to that.
In the meantime, I'm revamping my resume and working on references and soon I'll be applying for jobs.  I've been without employment for 6 days now..and I didn't think I'd miss it, but I really do, it makes the days go by faster... and I miss having the paycheck..so I'm definitely applying for jobs.  I'm excited for the idea of new opportunities and I'm going to be picky, and not take the first job I find, but I have experience behind me and I have the transportation, so why not get out there.  I'm not going to start any job until July 1st, I need some time to get more things for the house and get used to the area.  No set deadline.

Sarah is set up for her doctors appointment on July 10th... She'll be getting shots, and then she'll be ready for Kindergarten.  AHHH!  Not sure if Alex is all caught up but last appointment they said he would be all caught up until 10 years old, so we'll see.

Okay muh hands are tired and I still need to do my references.  Kids are playing, and I'm enjoying the cool air.  Brian's off @ "work" (I'll explain later) and when he gets back we're going out for Alex's send off dinner and then swimming later tonight.

I'm keeping a positive head...but I miss family and I miss home... Yet I love it here, and I feel it every time I go outside..the heat sucks, but the atmosphere is really enjoyable...I love the people and the options and the palm trees and looking over and seeing the strip.

Bittersweet, indeed.

Welp, that's my day and I'm sticking to it! Can't wait to hear from you mom!!
xoxoxo

Al

Goodbyes suck, but this isn't goodbye, and I know that... I know you'll be here soon, and we'll be a family again.  In the meantime -- we'll stay in touch, we'll blog, and we'll take care of ourselves. 
Today was very productive, and still going -- Brian has been awesome helping me, and the kids are just taking it easy ... of course they want to go swimming and do this and that, but today I'm just not feeling up to it.  Tomorrow, for sure.  We're going to do a send off dinner for Alex tomorrow night and maybe see a show.  I'll miss him to death, but I think he will really enjoy visiting with  his dad, and before he get's back he'll have a few surprises.  A computer desk and a laptop, and maybe some new science experiments.  For SURE a chore chart and an allowance, because he's liking the freedom that comes with making your own money, so he'll have to start earning it.

Sarah was extra emotional upon leaving, but I think she'll be okay.  Brian read the note to her and she immediately made you pictures.  We will enjoy working on pictures, and writing letters, and sending them to you, and you'll never miss a beat.  I PROMISE!!  I'll blog as much as I can and be sure to keep in touch.  Taking it one day at a time, minute by minute.  I'm happy the house is coming together, and can't wait to keep decorating and adding new ideas.  Taking the family to hobby lobby later and letting the kids get a feel for what they want for their rooms.  I definitely want them to have their own personalities and I think they can show that with their rooms.  They are both creative, which I enjoy.

Okay -- back to the grindstone.  I won't be a stranger.  I'll blog lots.  I won't always direct the blogs to you, but I know you'll be reading them - so maybe I will ;)

I love you.  Thanks for all that you've done, and I know I'll see you soon!! Tell all the ResCare clients that I love and miss them...and give me the scoop.  Refer to them as S, B, and A and I'll always know who you're talking about!

TA TA For now.

Always,

Alicia

Although we are apart, we will always be together.  I know this journey wouldn't have been possible without you.  You've kept me strong, when I was week.  You helped me to smile, when all I wanted to do was frown.  And when I wanted to cry, you helped me stay strong, and kept me going.  Thank you!!

I've realized throughout these few months how disjointed I am.  I am truly a fish out of water most of the time and I'm feeling lost in a sea of blue.  I'm ready to find myself again, or for the first time, and it's thanks a lot, to you.  

I will try not to be afraid.  I will try to be confident and self assured.  I will smile, and laugh, and appreciate my small town past.  Because I've had what a lot of people wish they had, an ideal childhood, with more ups than downs, and a family that loved me. and still does.  I may not have a huge family, but I have enough, and that's all anyone could ever ask for.

Just know that I'll be strong, and I'll try to live every day to the fullest.  I'll make you proud, as I know you would do the same for me.  Keep your head up, and know that I'll be waiting for you, no matter how long it takes.

I love you.

check in soon :)